Valuable Lesson

Tonight I learned a valuable lesson. Tonight Gilbert and I had plans to attend a play at BYU. We were invited to go on a double date with our fabulous neighbors. It was a Jane Austin play, so I was excited to see it. I was having anxiety about tonight for quite some time though. This would be the third time we would have gotten a babysitter for Luke. This would have been the first time we had the sitter put Luke to bed. We wouldn't have gotten home until 10:30, and that is simply past Luke's bed time. I'm sure Luke would have been fine, and I hired a very reliable mature babysitter. I was still having anxiety about having someone else put my baby to bed.

I don't think I am a "normal" parent. Lots of people say you shouldn't rock your baby to sleep. They say you should let them learn to sleep on their own. They say you should just lay them down and tell them to sleep, and make them do it. I'm just not the type of mom to do that. I rock my baby to sleep, and YES he is 17 months old, and I still rock him to sleep. Or, we lay on the couch together and fall asleep together, and YES I LOVE DOING THAT!

I feel the same way about getting sitters. People say it's good for you and its good for your kid. They say you should leave them. They say you need a break. They say you need alone time with your spouse. They say you need date night. They say to do it often. While I agree with some of that, I don't feel my status should be based on whether or not I get a sitter. Or whether or not we have "date night". Just what is date night.

Before we had Luke, let me tell you what our date night included. It usually consisted of Redbox, maybe some chinese take-out, and some good old fashioned popcorn. That was our date night. Maybe to your surprise, I didn't feel like our date night was lacking in any way. We are simply home bodies who simply enjoy eachothers company. We don't need to go out to dinner. We don't need to go to the overpriced movie. We don't need to go to a concert or out some fancy event. A simple movie rental, or just the Dateline special is what we consider date night.

So tonight, I had planned on listening to everyone else. I had planned on "doing what's right for your kid" and getting a babysitter. I planned on letting that sitter put my baby to bed because "its good for them". Although, I wasn't entirely comfortable with this, and neither was Gilbert, we were still going to do it anyway.

We had planned on the sitter arriving at 6:45 so we could be in our seats before the 7:30 curtain. I got Luke his dinner early. We had a bath early and were in our pjs by 6:30. Luke was all ready for bed and ready for some play time. This would be an easy pay day for our sitter. At exactly 6:35, Luke looked at me, then started throwing up everywhere. He threw up 4 times, and I knew, this was the answer. I immediately called our double date, to see if there was anyone else who wanted our tickets. I would be out $30, but this was the price to pay for a valuable lesson learned.

Lesson learned: I should do what feels right to me. I don't need to leave my kid for a sense of relief. I don't need to have the typical date night to feel like I get the opportunity to "reconnect" with my spouse. We put our kid to bed at 7:30, which leaves lots of parent time as we call it. I don't need to listen to what other people do or say to feel like I am being a good parent. I like our family, and I enjoy our family time mostly spent on the couch just simply with us there.

I am not usually one to express my feelings so openly, especially on my blog. I however, feel like I learned a great lesson, and I am now more confident in what feels right to me. I used to feel guilty for rocking my baby to sleep, or I used to feel guilty for not getting sitters more. I felt this way because so many other people do it, and advise me to do it as well. I will get my "break" in my own way. Maybe I will feel differently after having another kid. Only time will tell, but for now, I am perfectly happy spending time with my family!

So for tonight, our "date night" will be the same as any other date night. Luke got 2 baths tonight, he needed a second one after throwing up all over himself. Gilbert got the opportunity to clean up throw-up. I got a good chuckle hearing him gag while doing it. Our carpet now smells like carpet cleaner, and we will enjoy a normal evening. The kicker, I am TOTALLY ok with this! I just needed this evening to remind me that I am doing ok. Yes, I wanted to see the Jane Austin play, but it won't kill me to miss it. There will be more opportunities later on. I think there are certain sacrifices you have to make being a parent, and I am looking forward to a lot of date nights when my kids are older. For now, my kid is only little once, and I don't want to miss a thing.