Bad Day

Yesterday was NOT a good day. Both of my children were sick, one with a temperature of 104+ and the other, screaming for no apparent reason. Normally on days like that I would just stay home, but I HAD to mail some very important documents, in express over night service. Going to the post office is one of the worst errands ever to try and do with kids. I arrived at the post office with minutes until the express mail deadline. I decided to strap the kids in the stroller for a faster easier trip. As soon as I walk in, Clara starts screaming like I have never heard her scream before. Luke was already screaming because he was now strapped into the stroller, unable to run around like a wild boy. Clara won't take a binki, so it is difficult to get her to settle down sometimes. This was one of those times. She just would NOT settle down. Within seconds everyone in the post office was watching me. What they were thinking, I do not know. I was embarrassed to have my newborn screaming so bad, so I just turned around and walked out.

As I was trying to load my kids back up in the car, and putting the stroller away, a woman who was in line approached me. She obviously thought I was a bad mom. She asked me if I needed help. I told her "no thanks" of course, because this was an odd gesture to me. She then proceeded to try and help me load up my stroller. I kindly refused her help again. She then told me she would be happy to hold my baby for me while I completed my business in the post office. Again, I kindly declined her offer. I explained to her, I would just nurse my baby in the car and try again later. She then made the comment, "whoa, she must be really hungry then," As if I take my starving child out in public! I fed her right before I left, nursing her is the only way she calms down. By this point a few more people had left the post office and were watching me, because both of my kids were screaming, and I mean SCREAMING, and I'm sure everyone was thinking I was completely incompetent!

I was embarrassed! I got them both to calm down, and was too embarrassed to walk back into the post office, but I really needed to get something in the mail ASAP for express delivery! So I decided to drive over to the other post office in town. I knew my deadline was nearing, but I thought I still had about 15 minutes. So I loaded both kids up in the stroller again, walked in to see the line was about 15 people long, and NOT MOVING!

Two women in front of me turned around and walked out because it was taking forever. I decided to hold my course. Yes, both my kids were starting to cry, and yes I was now 13 people back. It was 4:10, and I thought the deadline was 4:25. After about 45 seconds of standing in line, and me thinking to myself that I am absolutely crazy, the postal worker said,

"anyone in line for express?"

I held up my envelope and said,"yes"

To my surprise, he said, "come on up, the truck is leaving now!"

So I very kindly apologized to everyone in line that I was now cutting to the front. I'm hoping they weren't all upset with me, I'm hoping they heard my crying children and were grateful this crazy lady would now be leaving the post office and they wouldn't have to listen to the crying!

As I drove away, I was shocked at what just happened. I guess someone else was looking out for me yesterday. I haven't "lost it" yet with 2 kids, but I felt like I could have in that moment.
That's what I get for trying to do things when my children are sick.

Last night I went to bed feeling like the worst mom ever! I felt like I don't give my children enough individual attention. I shouldn't drag them along errands when they don't feel well. They don't deserve that. I feel bad that Luke now has to share his mommy. He looks so sad sometimes when I am holding Clara and not him. However, Luke LOVES Clara. He always wants to hold her and kiss her. Clara likes him too, she definitely tolerates him well. Today has been a better day, but I decided that I need to focus more on giving my children individual attention. They deserve it!